WV Gourmet

There is quite a lot of garlic on this burger.

Although Fat Patty’s, a relatively new burgers-and-beers joint on the corner of 20th St. and 3rd Ave. in Huntington, conjures up images of vast, dripping, slabs of meat, it’s the imaginative toppings that really make the place memorable. The garlic-slathered meatslab to the right is the “Vampire Killer,” but other offerings include a Hawaiian-themed pineapple creation, a pepper-packed patty, and a delectable cajun-blue-cheese-bacon combination.

Despite the appetizing appearance of the sandwich, it’s a shame that the garlic seemed to be of the pre-prepared, out-of-a-jar variety rather than fresh: it has none of the sharpness and aggression that characterizes quickly cooked garlic. There’s still plenty of body, but it’s lacking the bite. It’s not going to worry any vampires.

On balance, though, it was a happy enough sandwich. I enjoyed the hefty chunk of red onion, and a generous helping of the other fixings, and the bun was generic but not too understated as to be overwhelmed or soggified by everything else. Decent, but I think I’ll opt for one of their blue cheese offerings next time. (Update: I did go back, and the “Black and Blue” is indeed absolutely delicious, removing my last reservation about this joint.)

But that’s not the best thing on that plate.

No, leave this place without ordering onion rings, and the Manson family will drive to your house and molest your cat. They’re that good. Just dark enough, with a pleasantly beery batter and a tasty core: some of the best around. Perhaps they’re frozen, but I’m inclined to doubt it.

(Hey, Patty’s, if you’re out there, how about doing BK’s “Mildly Upset Whopper” right?  I think you’ve got the ingredients and the attitude to make it work.)

If you go, go early. They were packed by 12pm on a Monday, and although their wait staff were obviously overstretched, they did a creditable job keeping up with our drink refills (no, not beer, although Patty’s full bar will doubtless be happy to satisfy any cravings you have in that direction). Despite the busy-ness and our onion-ring substitution, we were in and out in well under 45 minutes; just right for lunch. I’m already plotting an early evening return for beers, wings, and rings: Fat Patty’s is an easy recommendation.

Guyandotte marina taking on water (Herald-Dispatch)

(This is the marina at Guyandotte, just along the river from H-town, home to the town’s only Cajun restaurant. Divey, decent gumbo, nice in the summer, now rather wet.)

Update: the local rag tells us today that the owner intents to drag it out, repair, and re-open. Not an enviable task. Good luck: it’d be a shame to lose this unique joint.

Friday night, I put on my kevlar and waded my way through the downtown Charleston, WV transit mall to go to Rio Grande (or Big River in English). I could write about the food, but I’m not going to say much about that. It’s your basic local Mexican place where for a twenty dollar bill, you can get a belly full of pretty decent Mexican/Tex-Mex food AND have enough margaritas to float a battleship. I’m not going to write about the service, other than to say that the folks there are very quick to get your food to you. I’m going to write about the art, specifically the cockfight mural, which I have given the name: Little Jerry and El Guapo.

In this work of art, you will note that there is no audience, only the roosters and their trainers.  Mano y mano.  Pollo y pollo.  This is a pride match, not unlike the fight between Rocky and Apollo at the end of Rocky III.  Don Eduardo, whom you see in the forefront, taught Marcelino everything he knows about cockfighting.  Now, Marcelino and his young up and comer Rooster, Little Jerry, are engaged in a vicious cockfight with Don Eduardo and his prized rooster, El Guapo, who has a 73-0 record.  Little Jerry is closer to the viewer.  El Guapo has the upper hand right now, but you can see the fire in Little Jerry’s eye.  This is far from over.  There is no money on the line.  There are no spectators.  Just two men and their cocks, fighting for pride.  Who will win?  I don’t know.

As a lover of all things sandwich, I want to find the best sandwich in Charleston. I already can think of a few frontrunners. No Ruebens or hamburgers will be considered, as they are my two favorite types of sandwich and have an unfair advantage overs non-Ruebens and non-hamburgers. I’m open to suggestions and will cut off my review of sandwiches on March 18 and declare a winner some time thereafter.

1 ) Sorry, but I was disappointed in the food and service at Tricky Fish. It happens.

2 ) I thought the use of the term weirdos was funny, apparently not. I actually happen to enjoy the company of weirdos. Some of my best friends are downright bizarre.

3 ) I do not believe that the people at Tricky Fish spit in your food. I do, however, have an irrational fear that if I complain about food/send anything back/or otherwise make myself a pain to my server, it will be spit in. Probably not a good idea to post things un-anonimously if I’m going to complain about the food.

4 ) I’m not really sure if I have a point #4.

5 ) To the “hipsters” would it kill you to smile just once? That’s all I ask.

6 ) I really do love Bluegrass Kitchen and have done nothing but praise the food. The service has been somewhere between good and excellent every time I’ve been there at night or for a weekday lunch, weekend brunches have always been a bit shaky as far as service goes.

7 ) Learn to take some criticism.

8 ) It’s spelled “loser” not “looser”.

9 ) Blame the limey for any deleted posts.

10 ) I reserve the hipster designation for those who act like they are too cool or otherwise above doing their jobs, it really isn’t based upon appearance, rather a general disinterest in providing customer service.

11 ) I had nothing to do with the naming of the site and do not consider myself a gourmet, just a fat man who likes to eat.

For the love of god(s), put a Whole Foods in West Virginia.

John Mackey, you might be an anti-union libertarian vegan nutjob with what I could charitably describe as a non-mainstream view of business ethics, but I wil cheerfully donate you my firstborn if you open a Whole Foods in Charleston. (Sure, Huntington would be nice, but Charleston makes more sense for everyone.)

Seriously. I found myself walking round the Cincy branch on Saturday carefully considering the logistics of switching out our weekly grocery shop with a biweekly four-hour roundtrip to the Lexington store. And I still haven’t quite abandoned that idea.

Spotted this at Spirits, Etc. out on Route 60 near Barboursville. It’s a new-ish gin from the Gallo winemaking behemoth, and it’s very cheap: about $14 for a 750ml bottle. Seeing as Spirits seems to have stopped carrying my favorite gin (Boodles, if you’re interested) I snagged a bottle.

Impressions, on pouring my preferred gin sundowner (a dry martini, natch) are that New Amsterdam piles on the orangy citrus notes, to say the least. It’s very smooth on the palate, and has a really tight clean finish — none of the harshness that often comes with distilled drinks at this end of the market. All that citrus makes it a real eyebrow-raiser — it almost overwhelms the underlying gin character with it. Not that this is a bad thing, necessarily, but it doesn’t make the kind of martini I’m looking for.

However, if you’re going to drink it with tonic, or branch out into more complex drinks, it’s a definite recommendation: it’s very smooth, well made, and a great choice in its price range.